Development Issues

Those of you who know us beyond this blog (which I'm guessing is most of you), have most likely heard something about Isaac's development issues.  At about 6 months I started noticing that he was lagging behind in some things--eating solid foods, grasping toys--just little things.  I brought up my concerns with his pediatrician at his 9 month check-up, but the doctor wasn't concerned.  By the 12 month check-up, though, the number of questions to which I replied "no" (does he pull up on furniture? finger feed himself? crawl or scoot? roll over? say Mama or Dada?) concerned him enough to suggest we have Isaac evaluated by Help Me Grow, a state program that provides intervention for young children with development issues.  "Concerned" is probably too strong a word, but we did go ahead with the evaluation.

According to the test, Isaac was significantly behind in his motor skills, adaptive behaviors and communication.  His scores for cognitive and personal-social development were normal.  So, we've had Isaac in physical, occupational and speech therapy, and we've been seeing some doctors to find out what the reason for these delays might be.

Isaac is a very happy, very social and very curious little boy, and he is very healthy.  We're not terribly worried that there is anything seriously wrong, but one or two of the doctors we have seen have been  concerned about his delays.  There seem to be no physical indications of what could be wrong, and that is what has them stymied--usually this much of a delay has some clues that can be found in a simple physical exam.  We had an MRI and an X-ray this morning, to determine if there might be neurological or orthopedic reasons for the delays.  The therapies have been helping, and Isaac is crawling around and pulling up on furniture like a pro, and is showing improvement in communication.  We're grateful for those things.

I have to say, though, that this whole thing has been really stressful for me, mostly for two reasons.  One of those is navigating the medical and insurance system.  I've spent hours on the phone with doctors and insurance customer service people, trying to figure out what will be covered, why certain things aren't being covered even though our policy seems to say they should be, having prescriptions written with the right codes on them, etc.  I can't imagine how stressful this would be if I was dealing with a life-threatening condition, and if I didn't have the time, being a stay-at-home mom, to make all these calls.

The second stress is dealing with the reactions of people when they find out we are concerned with Isaac's development.  Many people have implied (albeit subtly) that we are overreacting.  We get lots of responses like this: "Really?  He seems fine to me.  He's so happy and looks so healthy.  All kids develop at their own pace, you know, you can't compare them to other kids. There's no need to rush them.  They grow up soon enough."  I've had someone say that God made Isaac, and made him perfectly, so there couldn't be anything wrong with him.  So, why are you getting these tests?  Of course, I also get shocked looks from strangers when they find out he is 18 months old and not walking.

Grrr.  Isaac is healthy and happy, and I love him exactly as he is.  But, several doctors have expressed concern that he is behind in his gross motor and communication development.  We thought and prayed about it and decided to go ahead with the MRI (which will end up costing us a lot of money out of pocket).  The procedure went smoothly, but now I'm not sure what to hope for an outcome.  If the tests come back and show nothing wrong, then we "wasted" all that money, and we still don't have answers.  But I don't want there to be something wrong, either.

It seems cliche to say God is in control, but I know that's true.  He can provide the money we need for the test (which we do have in savings, but were hoping to use it for other things).  He can grow Isaac up into the boy and man He wants him to be.  He can help the doctors find a reason for the delays and help us decide what needs to be done.  Or, He can keep it all a mystery, and walk with us as we do what we can and help Isaac learn and grow.  And, He can help me respond with grace when people make me feel insecure and question our decision to pursue this course.  He is good, all the time.  We'll keep watching and waiting as we trust in Him.